Date: 2022
Client: SnowMedia
DP: Brandon Ripley
Animation and Compositing: Maria Adriana Ventura

Producer: Hannah Blum
Music: Kaleb Engvall
Audio Tech: Avi Snow

​​​​​​​I always thought that if you avoided a problem for long enough, it would go away on its own. If you closed your eyes hard enough, you wouldn’t have to look at yourself. If you told your gut to shut up, your anxieties wouldn’t creep up on you anymore. 

But they do. 

As they crept up, I stood alone in my empty apartment, looking at the trail of crumbs on the counter.

I told myself I’d take care of it later.

I told myself the same thing earlier about two phone calls I missed.

Later seemed like a better time to do everything.

So I detached and went to a world where there are no crumbs, or calories, or work, or real people.

In my world, there is only excitement, adventure, and love.
A world where there’s no room for anxiety because look how happy I am!
A world where crumbs cannot interrupt my day.

But they do.

So I take away the fantasy, and the world I’ve built up in my head.

Without the option to disassociate I start to notice.

Not just the crumbs, but the uncomfortable fullness.

Not just the mess, but the lack of self love.

Not just the unfinished pile of work, but the dreams I’ve left underneath it.

Not just the dusty books, but the answers I never found.

Not just my reflection, but the real me.

The things you think don’t matter.

But they do.